Land of Lilliputians

Omar is wide-eyed with disbelief and anger, and Mobby is indignation personified. “This is not fair,” Omar fumes “I will kill it,” Mobby seethes. The event which brought forth this repressed destructive urge for revenge transpired this morning. Omar (he didn’t go to school today) and Mobby were playing in the garden when they saw a crow sitting on a tree. It was carrying a tiny egg in its mouth. According to the eyewitnesses' account, the crow was also smiling menacingly. The egg then fell from its beak and the eyewitnesses saw a teeny weeny unformed sparrow spangled in blood and gore amid the eggshells. Of course, I was made to run outside and see the ruthless spectacle myself. Yes, there it was: the gook. The menacing raven had flown away leaving in its wake the evidence of its plunder and cruelty. “Did it steal the sparrow’s egg?” Omar now asks. “Yes. It seems it did,” I answer. “But why?” Now Omar’s voice becomes a notch higher with...

“You lie. I will never believe you again,” Omar tells me. “No Omar. I never lie, it’s too complicated for me.” “Of course, you do,” Omar says defiantly. Now I want to know about the lie which has ruined my credibility in Omar’s eyes. “You said there is just one sun.” “So? There is one sun.” I breathe easy. Sure this misunderstanding is easy to fix. “I went to grandma’s house and there was one sun too. And there was one in my school too,” Omar looks at me accusingly. “Omar, it is just….err there is actually one sun that we see everywhere. It is just that ….” “You are a liar,” Omar cuts me short and leaves the room. No, this is NOT easy to fix. I will remain a liar in Omar’s eyes for a few years to come.

I decide to make some serious, healthier lifestyle changes. And yoga seems like a good place to start. So here I am with my late November resolution of a healthier me, trying to contort my unbending body to somehow make it more ductile.  A voice from the underworld breaks my reverie, “Why are you making sounds like a hissing monster?” I open my eyes to behold a laughing and amazed Omar. “Omar, I am trying to do yoga. Why don’t you go outside or sit quietly here,” I say while trying to straighten my legs which seemed to have bent in opposite directions beyond all manipulation. “But don’t make these noises, it’s scary," Omar says and settles near my exercise mat to observe my attempts at lifestyle changes. “Now, what are you doing?” Omar asks as I sit straight and try to somehow hold my elusive toes. “This is called forward bending. I am supposed to touch my toes,” I tell him while my stubborn body refuses to budge an inch. “But you are not doing i...

Mobby’s Amma and I are discussing something serious: what to have for dinner.  Mobby barges in and shouts: “quiet.” “Why Mobby?” I wonder what has offended Mobby’s sensibilities. “Don’t talk,” he says then puts his hands firmly on the table and begins “there are two lizards...” “Mobby, we have heard this story. And this is bad manners; you are not to butt in when elders talk.” Mobby’s Amma suddenly realizes that he needs to learn some manners. “Quiet,” Mobby bangs the table to drive home his point. “Don’t talk and listen to me. There are two lizards…” “But Mobby, this is not fair. We hear your stories all the time, you should bear with us too.” I attempt to evoke his sense of fairness and equality. And yes, I try to forget that he is only two. But now Amma decides to get firm, “Mobby, stop it. Go play with your toys.” Mobby looks at us fiercely and gives us his favourite, “I don’t like you.”   At this juncture, we find him walkin...

“Momi there are two lizards,” Mobby gives me this slimy information while I am having my morning tea. “Really? Where are they,” I take a bite of my toast and try not to dwell on the topic of our conversation. “There are two lizards.” “Okay Mobby, but where are they?”  I take a long sip from my mug trying to fathom the whereabouts of the two lizards. “One good lizard, one bad lizard,” Mobby comes up with more information. Now, this seems really interesting. I take a long gulp from my mug and give him my full attention. “Which one is good and why,”  I ask. “The good one has nice feet.” Mobby gestures with his hands and draws a picture of those nice feet in the air. “So where is it, the good lizard?” “It has gone out through the window.” “Oh! And the bad one?” “It is still in my room.” Mobby makes a face and I finally decipher the mystery of good versus bad.

“Naomi, do you know how big is God?” Omar’s eyes widen to stretched halfway down his face, as they always do when he tries to educate me about something. “Omar, I have no idea.” “Have you seen the Mickey Mouse who stands on big wooden sticks outside MacDonald’s? The one who is as tall as the rooftop? “Yes?” “Well, God is bigger even than that Mickey Mouse.” Here Omar stops and looks at me to gauge if I have grasped the enormity of the size. “Wow! That’s really big.” “But you see God is so much bigger. He is as big as the distance between America and Pakistan…that is, the distance from the gates of America to the gates of Pakistan.”  Omar looks at me triumphantly with the accumulated wisdom of four years shining through his eyes. I don’t say anything and just widen my eyes to somehow match the area covered by Omar’s eyes, and fail miserably. “And He was there even before our house and the road outside were built,” Omar tells me. “Oma...

Today, at lunchtime I announced the best eating habits award for Lilliputians. After announcing it I also voiced my opinion that probably Roshan would get it since he is the only one who eats all his fruits and vegetables. This voicing of opinion sounded like some pre-determined selection to the Lilliputians present at the dining table. I really had no idea about the commotion that ensued. Saif , who was eating rice because he didn’t want to eat vegetables, suddenly became indignation personified.  He pushed away the plate of rice and announced, “Now, I am not going to eat anything, not even the things that I normally do. Why Roshan?” “Saif, because he doesn’t have a long list of not-eatable-food-items like you people,” I tried to dispel the charge of nepotism of some kind. “I am sure, you will give the award to Roshan in any case. I am older than Roshan and I should get it. Besides, it’s not that Roshan never creates any fuss about his food.” Saif h...