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Showing posts from 2011

The Forward Bend

I decide to make some serious, healthier lifestyle changes. And yoga seems like a good place to start. So here I am with my late November resolution of a healthier me, trying to contort my unbending body to somehow make it more ductile.  A voice from the underworld breaks my reverie, “Why are you making sounds like a hissing monster?” I open my eyes to behold a laughing and amazed Omar. “Omar, I am trying to do yoga. Why don’t you go outside or sit quietly here,” I say while trying to straighten my legs which seemed to have bent in opposite directions beyond all manipulation. “But don’t make these noises, it’s scary," Omar says and settles near my exercise mat to observe my attempts at lifestyle changes. “Now, what are you doing?” Omar asks as I sit straight and try to somehow hold my elusive toes. “This is called forward bending. I am supposed to touch my toes,” I tell him while my stubborn body refuses to budge an inch. “But you are not doing i

Far From the Madding, Noisy Adults

Mobby’s Amma and I are discussing something serious: what to have for dinner.  Mobby barges in and shouts: “quiet.” “Why Mobby?” I wonder what has offended Mobby’s sensibilities. “Don’t talk,” he says then puts his hands firmly on the table and begins “there are two lizards...” “Mobby, we have heard this story. And this is bad manners; you are not to butt in when elders talk.” Mobby’s Amma suddenly realizes that he needs to learn some manners. “Quiet,” Mobby bangs the table to drive home his point. “Don’t talk and listen to me. There are two lizards…” “But Mobby, this is not fair. We hear your stories all the time, you should bear with us too.” I attempt to evoke his sense of fairness and equality. And yes, I try to forget that he is only two. But now Amma decides to get firm, “Mobby, stop it. Go play with your toys.” Mobby looks at us fiercely and gives us his favourite, “I don’t like you.”   At this juncture, we find him walking away fr

Two Lizards

“Momi there are two lizards,” Mobby gives me this slimy information while I am having my morning tea. “Really? Where are they,” I take a bite of my toast and try not to dwell on the topic of our conversation. “There are two lizards.” “Okay Mobby, but where are they?”  I take a long sip from my mug trying to fathom the whereabouts of the two lizards. “One good lizard, one bad lizard,” Mobby comes up with more information. Now, this seems really interesting. I take a long gulp from my mug and give him my full attention. “Which one is good and why,”  I ask. “The good one has nice feet.” Mobby gestures with his hands and draws a picture of those nice feet in the air. “So where is it, the good lizard?” “It has gone out through the window.” “Oh! And the bad one?” “It is still in my room.” Mobby makes a face and I finally decipher the mystery of good versus bad.

Omar’s Philosophical Musings

“Naomi, do you know how big is God?” Omar’s eyes widen to stretched halfway down his face, as they always do when he tries to educate me about something. “Omar, I have no idea.” “Have you seen the Mickey Mouse who stands on big wooden sticks outside MacDonald’s? The one who is as tall as the rooftop? “Yes?” “Well, God is bigger even than that Mickey Mouse.” Here Omar stops and looks at me to gauge if I have grasped the enormity of the size. “Wow! That’s really big.” “But you see God is so much bigger. He is as big as the distance between America and Pakistan…that is, the distance from the gates of America to the gates of Pakistan.”  Omar looks at me triumphantly with the accumulated wisdom of four years shining through his eyes. I don’t say anything and just widen my eyes to somehow match the area covered by Omar’s eyes, and fail miserably. “And He was there even before our house and the road outside were built,” Omar tells me. “Omar, t

And the Best Eating Habits Award goes to…...

Today, at lunchtime I announced the best eating habits award for Lilliputians. After announcing it I also voiced my opinion that probably Roshan would get it since he is the only one who eats all his fruits and vegetables. This voicing of opinion sounded like some pre-determined selection to the Lilliputians present at the dining table. I really had no idea about the commotion that ensued. Saif , who was eating rice because he didn’t want to eat vegetables, suddenly became indignation personified.  He pushed away the plate of rice and announced, “Now, I am not going to eat anything, not even the things that I normally do. Why Roshan?” “Saif, because he doesn’t have a long list of not-eatable-food-items like you people,” I tried to dispel the charge of nepotism of some kind. “I am sure, you will give the award to Roshan in any case. I am older than Roshan and I should get it. Besides, it’s not that Roshan never creates any fuss about his food.” Saif had c

Jumper Dance Party

We had been planning for a jumper dance party since the day the jumper became part of our lives. I had been postponing it for quite some time, but on Tuesday morning Saif finally put his foot down, and I had to give in. Saif, who was responsible for the menu, decided on KFC style burgers and tang. In the evening, all the Lilliputians went shopping with Chachi and came back loaded with burgers, chicken, sauces, and one video CD with dance and party music. So the burgers were prepared, ice-cold mango tang was made, a table was laid out in the guestroom, the video CD was put on, and guests (parents and grandmother) were invited, and la viola ….the Party began! So far, so good. But then started some twists and turns. Saif complained that the music wasn’t fast enough; Zainab winced that the tang wasn’t sweet enough (I made it); Roshan felt humiliated (Saif was rude to him), so he left the party to sit all alone in the lounge; Mobby started spilling tang all over the room. But

Zainab's Jumper

The up-in-the-air existence is the current mode of being of my Lilliputians. And we owe this suspended existence to Zainab’s Jumper. Zainab graduated to grade 2 with more than flying colors. She landed there with straight A-pluses and Baba thus decided to buy her a gift of her choice.  Here I have to confess that I subtly fed her the idea of getting a jumper (I love jumpers), but of course like all Lilliputians she could never have gone for it without believing that it was her plan.  So one fine day, Zainab went shopping and predictably enough came back sulking over the kinds of jumpers available. Some had legs which were too short, some were not bouncy enough, and then there were also second thoughts. She looked at us (me and other four little people) suspiciously and asked:  “Why should I get a jumper?” We all convinced her, “Because You want it Zainab!” Anyways, after a few days another excursion to the sports shop happened and this time Zainab came back with

My Lilliputains

What exactly did Gulliver feel when he landed in the land of Lilliputians? Was he amazed, was he amused, did he feel wiser, or did he feel like a fool? Did he feel all too powerful or were their times when he realized that he was being manipulated?  I think it must have been a mixture of all these feelings, emotions and realizations. Living with five nephews and nieces (families of two brothers), I feel like a Gulliver in the land of little people and can relate to what he must have felt. And now the brief introduction of my Lilliputians: Saif: An eight-year-old cricket fan, Saif is the eldest in this abode taken over by Lilliputians. His aim in life is to become a cricketer, and a permanent bald patch of land in our front lawn vouches for his devotion to cricket. For Saif, this bald patch serves as the pitch for his cricket matches, and for me, it is an eyesore.  And thus a recurring bone of contention between us. Every other day, I plant a few blades